Invaluably Balanced

Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands. -Clint Eastwood

This quote has always resonated with me. I struggled for may years, always feeling like I was destined for more than the life I was living. It wasn’t until I took it into my own hands, and created the Kaleidoscopic Values Chart, that I could finally see clearly. Suddenly it all clicked and I was able to see the missing links. I knew myself in a way I never had, was able to see my needs clearly. and began setting goals based on that vision. I still revisit the topic often as I learn and grow more. One step in finally seeing what I was missing, was figuring out how to set priorities I could stick with.

We all go through those phases in life where we suddenly decide we’re going to do and be better. We choose these goals and pull a plan out of thin air to make it happen. The problem with this is that we tend to focus on areas that aren’t really meeting our needs. Below is a diagram, much like the Wheel of Life used in Positive Psychology, that arranges our needs into a chart. By going through the Kaleidoscopic Values Challenge I was able to determine my true needs and my core values. It also gave me insight into what motivates me to fulfill my needs, aka values in action. Needs – VIA – Core Values.

From there I was able to see so many different things in my life, I kept turning the wheel to gain new perspectives. For today, I want to discuss life balance. Not your average work/life balance – the overall balance of life meeting our needs. Every day we decide the priorities we have and a lot of times we end up stuck in patterns that aren’t satisfying. Take a moment to review the chart below. How satisfied are you in each of these areas?

Chances are there’s at least one area you’re not satisfied in as much as you’d like to be. That being the case, know you aren’t alone. Kaleidoscopes are forever shifting, and as humans we are too. It’s important to take into account how satisfied we are in our needs. Ask yourself:

Is there anything within my control to meet this need? What steps can I take to fulfill this category? Am I living aligned with my values?

Often times there are little things we can change, but we don’t see them as a big issue so they’re ignored. This is the place we start! By changing those little things we can gain perspective and shift the gears. This looks different for everyone so I’ll outline a few examples below. For more information, be sure to find us on Facebook!

NEEDS BASED EXAMPLES:

SURVIVAL: Financial Stress “Budgeting is too overwhelming but I don’t know where my money goes…” Break it down. It’s overwhelming to write out an entire budget for most people. Start off with categories: this website shows a simplified system. Instead of doing the entire budget at once, work on one section each day.

Safety: Job Security “What if we shut down?” Have a plan. This sounds so simple, because most people say, “I’ll just start applying places.” Save yourself the added stress and set aside a day to: -Update your resume. -Create a small list of work that interests you. -Jot down a few relevant companies. This allows you to sidestep some stress in the event that something does happen. Then when you get that feeling of unease, you can remind yourself of your plan.

Love/Belonging: Being Tolerated vs. Liked “What if nobody really likes me?” Make a list. This is an effective way to evaluate. -Create a few categories such as: friends, family, co-workers. -Put a symbol next to the people who always leave you feeling good. -Explain how you’re feeling to them (or don’t). -Refer to your list when you have anxiety about being loved. The people you’ve put a symbol next to are the ones you’ve never had reason to doubt. If you aren’t close with these people, it may do well to reach out to them more often and ask that they do the same.

Esteem: Impostor Syndrome “I’m not really as great as people think…” Affirm. Overcoming self-esteem issues are rarely simple. To meet this need you have to put actions into motion, every chance you get. Try jotting down a small list of things you like about yourself, or compliments others give you. Every time you feel like you’re not truly doing well you can refer back to this list. Remind yourself that it was made honestly, and that you wouldn’t lie to yourself.

Cognitive: Memory Issues (not health based) “There’s so much to do and no way I can remember it all…” Play! One of the best ways to improve memory skills is actually through games. Who would have known? Download any games you might like that help build memory, and commit to playing them at least ten minutes a day. If your issue is in being overwhelmed, take a look at the other areas of need in your life and prioritize them based on importance to you. Use your Kaleidoscopic Values Chart to rank them, and then write them in a weekly calendar (we all carry one with us). That way if it’s a Monday and you work on Aesthetics on Tuesdays/Thursdays you can jot those notes down and save it for tomorrow. Through time you’ll notice a difference in the organization of your thoughts.

Aesthetic: Clutter “I’m running around like a chicken with my head cut off and I STILL can’t find anything!” Start small. If this is affecting your need fulfillment, chances are the organizational layout of your space isn’t working for you. Start by listing the rooms in your home, then add your most common activities in those rooms. As you pass through rooms during the week move items into the rooms they’re used most. By the weekend you should have a pretty good idea of what will go where. The next step is to create zones in each room. Group like items together (e.g. Coat, Shoes, Hat all by the entryway). By creating zones you’re able to have a clearer picture of where things can fit neatly.

Self-Actualization: Failure to Achieve “I’m never going to reach my goals and get where I want to be…” Daily. Actions. Usually if you’re struggling to reach a goal of being a better version of yourself it’s because something is lacking in another area of your life. Use your Kaleidoscopic Values Chart to compare your goals with your values. For instance, if your goal is to be better at communication, what values would represent that? What drives you to want to be better at it? These motivators are values in action and can make it easier to break down your goals into daily steps. For assistance with this visit the Kaleidoscopic Coaching page.